i made my dearest gal mad. heartfelt apology babe. feel like sucha goddamned traitor. metamorphing into all those things i hate, all those things so contrived, all those things, fitted compactly into this body and face i dont deserve. its difficult trying to cram so many things and so many loved ones into this life. but i'll make it better. ive lost enough, i cant lose anymore or this being will cease to exist. and im sorry if i ruined your day, just to let you know i was affected too. i swear. come on babe, we're stronger than this, both you and me. so hang on okay?

sometimes i wish life wasnt this tough. but it is, its a test frm god. a test of faith.
.
.
.

im trying not to grow up too fast. im trying not to lose touch. im trying, cant you see?

i love my friends more than i love myself. thats one vulnerability out in the open. and babe, you know i love you best. i do really.

//losing to someone in pool is as painful as breaking up. it can go both ways.
now how bout that?