Thursday, January 25, 2007
dropped by naz's workplace yesterday with subway cookies. but didnt manage to catch up proper. saw the woman at work! haha funnnny. her gatal colleague looked well, gatal -_- hung around munching on double choco chip cookies, finally caved in to Mrs Grey [her boss] stares, said my goodbyes, gave her a hug and off i went. made the mistake of boarding 14 (slow to the maximo i tell you) from somerset and i reached home 7,382651 years later. but khai called halfway through, interrupting my sleep and the song playing, and i made him talk to me all the way home :D misery loves company babyy.
and misery indeed. i cant sleep. or i'll sleep for abit and the moment i wake up, the ill feelings from yesterday comes back to haunt and it leaves sucha bitter feeling in my heart that to fall back into slumber afterwards is impossible. you stated your reasons and you said your apology. but the sad thing is, your words seem to bounce right off me, and your apology? i can forgive my dear, but i cannot ever forget. im trying to place myself in your shoes (we wear the same size see hahaha not funny) and be as perceptive as i probably can but your lack of sensitivity and the fact that i can feel so disenchanted by your actions, leaves nothing to be desired, and im facing the inevitable rethinking of decisions. the hurt is still very much there..
i dont like emotional dilemmas like these. hell.. who does. i feel selfish turning to God in moments such as these, but hey he's always there right?
Divine intervention much sought after..
..im comforted by one thought though. that if something like this can affect me so greatly, then its probably because what we have, means the world to me.