Saturday, March 08, 2008
i think im losing the ability to write. like my thoughts are muddled, my sentences are absolutely random and incoherent.. that grasp on language is weakening, and its scary.
okay reality check.
got my alevel results back. nothing much to boast of there. im pretty much at a dead end, just gotta handle this extra carefully and take one step at a time. my usual bout of impulsiveness and rash thinking will NOT get me anywhere. friends & family have been real sweet about it. hehhe met the usuals at simpang hoping to take my mind off things and it was awesome! i got to drive dils dad's car for abit, thankyou for trusting me! i is loving you! so yea thats about all i wanna comment about my results, so stop pestering me or my friends okay? whether you know or not, its at my discretion.
life has been slow rollin lately, no major news to speak of. i changed to part time at borders, and thank god for that. god knows i need a break.
we all have romantic notions of love. what we perceive our lives will be like when we're in love. at the start, we oft believe and heavily relied upon that feel good giddy moments. you know, all the cliches, where the world just revolves around the said duo and nothing else matters & everything's fine and dandy, but never ever knowing what you're really in for. then you go deeper into the relationship and things starts to strain, differences become misunderstandings which then evolves into arguments and cold shoulders that happens over, and over and over again. the longer you are together, the more complacent you get.. the more you think your relationship can shoulder anything because the two of you have been through a hell lot so whats another misunderstanding right? little did you know that things dont get better, things dont get stronger. that everytime it happens and no resolution is reached, another weight gets thrown on and the relationship gets heavier & heavier to shoulder. and thats why sometimes we find ourselves questioning the relationship, questioning ourselves and each other.
i admit, im a difficult person to love. im stubborn, wilful, headstrong, short-fused, messy, irrational, unpredictable.. omg the list goes on. but still you love me, and you're still standing here by me after 18 long blissful, sometimes sakit hati heart pain nak mampos months. we have our differences (hell yeah we do) but i like that. i like the fact that you dont give in to me every time, that sometimes you make me sit up and listen to you. okay i may act like i dont give a crap what you're saying/feeling but i really do. i know sometimes you get weary but you never never fail to try and make things better even when im at my most difficult, and i love you for that. thankyou (:
